Its been almost a week that wrote my blog post and every single day I make up my mind to write something and every day I do not write. I may not get many readers but I want to write to express myself, sometimes to talk to myself and sometimes to reach out to everyone out there but all these take a backseat when you actually know and realize, what goes inside you and what you are experiencing.
The month of January has always been an overwhelming month for me. As a child, I use to be very happy in this month as my mom's birthday and my birthday fall in the same month but then time took a big turn and god made me experience the worst time of my life when my mom left me in the same month. Since then its always a month of sadness and happiness. When sadness dominate, I can't be happy as loss of my mom is the biggest ever loss that I could bear but still I am very happy to be born and be able to live this life, hence sometimes its happiness and sometimes its sadness.
I miss my mother a lot, her wishes, her unconditional love, affection and the extreme, selfless care and miss her as my birthday approaches. Life is very unfair at times and the only thing that we can do is to get back and get normal as time is also a very good healer that helps you fade those tough memories but memories never die and keep visiting your mind and keep shaking your soul up as and when you are alone with yourself.
The month of January brings me all those sweet moments and the celebrations that my mom use to do for my birthday and she made sure that every element of the celebration is taken care of. What a lady she was! I try to be like her sometimes but I can't become her as she was one of its kind. This holds true for each one of us because your biggest strength is that no one is like you. This month also brings all those moments that I had to spend to make myself understand that now pampering is over and I am all on my own. Mother is world to her child and she was my world. I had her when I had no one.
I just pray that god bless her soul and may she be happy always wherever she is and I wish my self happy birthday from my mother's side and embrace all her wishes.
Love you mom and will always miss you!!