When we grow up as an adult and enter into a family life, I think we all better understand what our parents were like and why they were that way. Hence, we are able to appreciate their efforts not only out of love but also out of understanding them better now at a stage where we are also trying to fit in the role of parents.
The other day I was reading about different types of personalities and how to handle them from the perspective of a parent and I could actually relate to many factors mentioned there. Researches, theories and their conclusions are the end results of us only about how we deal with different circumstances.
Life is the best teacher as you slowly and steadily keep moving into its different phases, knowingly or unknowingly and keep gaining experiences but you have to work a lot on what is happening and what should happen. I am not saying that we have to make everything perfect and to the point but the most important thing is to understand the individual nature and perspectives.
Being a parent, you will experience many emotions, situations and will get frustrated at times and feel like giving up. I try so much to reflect on all these factors but still there are times when I feel that I have been harsh, I have been over expecting, I have been rude or may be very angry which was actually not required. We, as parents start expecting a lot and just cross that very thin line of guiding, which actually becomes imposing. This leads to building up of the frustration levels among children and may lead to their disruptive behavior which, obviously we do not want. So, what should be done?
The only solution is, when the storm is very strong, calm yourself and let the storm pass. We cannot actually deal with the anger of kids because they have not developed that complete sense of responsibility as of now but we expect them to understand each and everything as we say. Hence, we need to be patient and try and understand the problem from the their point of view. We can do this because we are elders to them both in terms of age and experience and we cannot afford to behave like kids in situations like these.
I was upset with my child for not attending one class properly and after so much of anger and arguments, I felt that I was not that sensible and should have listened to her patiently and should have guided or suggested politely instead of being ruthless. Its true that most of our expectations are correct and are for the benefit of our children but we need to draw a clear line between guidance and imposition. After all they are our kids and if they will be upset or disturbed, we as parents will also be equally affected.
Learning from the experiences of life is the best kind of learning because we never forget what we go through.
Love your children, Love yourself!